3 Reasons Why Inner Game Will Help Your Love Life
Posted on January 8, 2010
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Have you ever had great success in one venue, maybe house parties, but were unable to succeed with women you met other places, like perhaps Clubs?
Often it is easier for you to be cool and social in one venue than another. This is your `comfort zone`. You know what to say, how to say it, and who to say it too. But outside of that zone, you are toast! This is because we often use certain external techniques and social skills that do not really apply to every venue we might find ourselves in. When you have deep set beliefs that you are a high status male, and that no matter where you are, that you are among the elite males, then all these anxieties and problems fall away.
How? Because your strength and resolves makes other people change THEIR mode of behavior to suit yours. If Bill Clinton walked into a raging rock concert or hip hop concert, this one man, would have everyone in a completely different frame of mind, all begging to appease HIS way of interaction. The people bend to YOU.
Inner Game Positively Influences Your Body Language
* Fifty-five percent of the communications signals we send results from how others see us
* Thirty-eight percent flows from the way they hear us
* Seven percent comes from our words
Source: http://www.barkscomm.com/fa_nonverbal.asp
Having solid Inner Game allows your body language to accurately communicate. This is called `congruence`, when your words are matched by your attitude and body language. If you say Super Man things to a woman, but feel like Clark Kent inside, she WILL know, and you will get nowhere with her.
Inner Game Improves Every Aspect Of Your Life, Making You More Attractive
I saved the best for last. Inner Game development need not be limited to confidence and belief setting with women. It can apply to everyone, and life in general. You can rethink previous ideas, like you’ll never be able to get into a good college, or you’ll never make a good XYZ and then your subconscious will begin helping you to change so that these things can happen.
What is best is that being successful in life ( and I don’t mean being rich ) will make you doubly attractive to women, and that will raise your confidence even more. It is cyclical.
Conclusion
Not learning proper Inner Game techniques can lead to A LOT of frustration AND embarrassment too using seduction tactics that seem incongruous. Without Inner Game, no amount of “negging”, or “cocky funny” will allow you to have lasting success with women.
3 Categories Women Put You In Before You Meet
Posted on January 5, 2010
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When approaching women, even before you have said a word or done anything she has already unconsciously put you into one of three categories:
I Like Him
I Don’t Like Him
Undecided
Now that you are aware of the three different categories lets go over each ones strengths and weaknesses for you.
Category #1: I like Him:
If you happen to look or remind her of someone that she liked, dress in a certain type of way that she finds attractive or anything else that she happens to connect with. Congrats you have a heads up on everyone and when it comes to taking it to the next level its all On You. This is a great thing and if you fall in the Average Guy category expect this to happen with around 10 percent of the women that you meet who are available.
Category #2:
I Don’t Like Him: You ever meet someone and for no apparent or real good reason you don’t like them?
Guess what women are the same way and for good measure most women throw unconfident men and a whole slew of petty reasons in there as well. If you fall in this category and at least 10 percent of the time you will if your just an average guy, unless you have some unknown outside factor to enhance you (hot ex still after you, famous, rich, etc.); there is nothing you can say or do that is going to get this woman to change her mind and be attracted to you.
Category #3:
Undecided: The majority of the times about 80 percent is you are an average guy you are going to fall in this Category which if you have done your studying and reading on seduction and how to attract women is a perfect place to be. Because as long as you are in the Undecided category you can work on creating the desire and attraction in a woman that you want. This is very good news for you my friend.
Of course the time is now for you to get your life in order so that when you walk up to a woman that you find to be a potential partner and she is thinking to herself maybe or maybe not over the course of a cup of coffee or tea you can turn that maybe into a yeas and increase your success with women tremendously.
5 Irresistible Ways To Make Women Fall For You
Posted on January 2, 2010
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“I don’t get it!…”
“I’ve a nice car. I’m accomplished. My A-List CV make the next guy look funky. I even wear the latest Armani! Why doesn’t she flip for me? Why am I always alone??”
STOP!
How many times did you pound the dashboard of your Corvette bewailing this persistent question?
The avenue to Romance is littered with roadkill hearts and unrequited love.If you think you’re unique in your loneliness, think again. There is enough dashboard pounding out there to start a global orchestra of dire distress.
But don’t despair. Before you spin out of control, deploy the airbags fast. These strategic maneuvers should cruise you back on track:
1) Dress to Kill – all the time: No I don’t intend that you wear $5000 suits to the grocers or the Rolex to walk the dog. What I want you to do is is to dress decently each time you hit the streets. Dab on some cologne. Be neatly shaven. Gentlemen, women are everywhere. If you dress with flash only at the bar or the party, you’re missing out on 95% of eligible women. Some of the best relationships were forged during chance encounters at the bus stop.
2) Bedroom Eyes – When exploring new relationships with that sexy stranger, intensify the eye contact. Lock deep into her pupils. Let the rest of the world disappear even as a horde of supermodels troop by. You will naturally thrill her with the attention as she experiences the tendrils of growing attraction. Ethnologists have a term for it, the copulatory gaze.
Get your eyes even sexier by enlargening your pupils; Dr. Hess concluded that dilated pupils are far far more attractive to women. How does one get the pupils popping? Simply gaze at the most alluring parts of a woman’s face and fill your mind with loving caring thoughts. Your pupils naturally grow, endowing you with irresistible eyes.
3) Visual Caress – Get your eyes to do some facial travelling as you chat. Linger a bit on the nose, traipse across those lashes and rest upon the lips. Drink in her facial features as though you were admiring the Mona Lisa. She will delight in the attention!
4) Easter Eggs – Stumped at having nothing to say? Listen carefully for easter eggs as you talk. These are unusual words or phrases that she utters. Ask her to expound on it. Say “What’s the story behind that?” or “How do you feel about that?”. Women love to be probed for their opinions and their feelings.Gently bring out her emotions with sensitive open-ended questions.
5) Keep it Adrenaline Charged – Men talk facts: stock figures, bill payments, and boring engine specs. Women are different. They delight in FEELINGS TALK: how the new dress takes them to 7th heaven, how that special meal got them all giddy with ecstasy, how their shopping expedition drains their deepest problems away. Leverage this by steering away from facts talk. Pick out emotionally charged subjects and ask her how she especially relates to them. You’ll be her new confidant!
I know what you’re thinking. It’s all common sense! That’s true, but ask yourself this: how many of you actually practice this? Be honest.
Get out there and be the man women loves. Use your common sense!
1st Time Meeting After Chatting Online
Posted on December 30, 2009
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Technology has always been there to make lives of people easier. In fact, thanks to technology the world of emotions has also been conquered. Don’t try to think dirty here folks. What I’m talking about is the love connection that can happen through online dating sites and chatting rooms or software such as ICQ, MSN or MIRC.
Thanks to these websites and chat software people have been given a better chance to find their partner. This is because people are given the chance to be connected wherever they might be. All different cultures and walks of life are able to meet with a simple click of the keyboard. In short a person has got a better chance to meet his or her partner because of the greater number of daters. It is also easier to meet people online thanks to online date sites and chat rooms.
After chatting for a while and getting to know one another, it would be natural to meet. It would be a pretty shallow relationship if both of you are happy to be forever just chatting. Both persons may just be really looking for someone to talk to.
Finding love through the internet offers the two sides to get intimate right away. This is because it is easier to be yourself when chatting online. Just imagine that you can say anything stupid and you won’t see the other person thinking that it’s corny. Instead most chatters, even though you are pretty corny just type LOL (laugh out loud).
Because of the perception that you have built about yourself and the other person, meeting them becomes very hard. This is because of the perception you have given to him or her during chatting could not be really you. Both of you will then have higher expectations of who the real person really is.
Another problem that online chatting could present is the confidence of a person. Since it is easier to talk online, a person who is very shy or timid may have a hard time keeping up with who he or she really is. The person instead is like living both worlds.
When also meeting for the first time after long periods of chatting that could last in the wee hours of the morning, is being able to adjust. Both of you would have to figure out that it would be harder to talk on real life because of certain other factors involved. You are now both able to see the person’s mannerisms. This will be the toughest part that you would have to overcome. Once you have gone past this, the rest will be easier.
It is suggestible though to meet sooner rather than later. When meeting earlier at the chatting stages, this prevents both person having higher expectations. This also helps both parties to decide right away whether they are just better of friends or continue to develop the relationship. This helps both parties prevent disappointment and heartaches.
UK Sex Dating: Spicing up Your Sex Life
Posted on December 27, 2009
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The UK’s population has surpassed 60 million. About 600,000 people have come to work in the UK from the new EU nations between 2004 and 2006. The whole concept of love and sex has changed over the years. Psychology depicts love and sex as a cognitive and social phenomenon comprised of three different components: intimacy, commitment and passion.
Having sex is obviously the natural and desired physical manifestation of attraction. But it sounds like even though you enjoy the sex, most want something more from a dating relationship – including honest and meaningful communication, vacations together, date nights, time together with friends, etc.
As it is said, “Sex is more than an act of enjoyment, it is the aptitude to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it’s almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you’re a part of them.”
To boost your sex dating relationship:
- Enjoy a romantic dinner together.
- Give one another a long, sensual massage.
- Try watching an erotic video together.
- Explore new sexual positions, push your boundaries.
- Go on a romantic vacation or getaway with one another, free of distractions.
- Find common ground to share, like a hobby or sport you can enjoy together.
If you really interested in spicing up your romantic sex life, Kisscafé (www.KissCafe.eu) can help! Our member forums are filled with useful information on dating, relationships, sex and love. Read the personal stories of others, ask members for advice, and more.
Kisscafé (www.KissCafe.eu) provides 100% FREE UK sex dating services, where you can find fun, friendship, love, marriage, romance and more. Join now and get connected with someone special today. Browse free personal ads and photos, share your deep feelings, and express yourself with your own blog. Give wings to your thoughts and publish your fantasies instantly!
5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them
Posted on December 24, 2009
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As a relationship counselor, I am constantly being asked why so many relationships fail. In the 37 years that I have worked with couples, I have discovered five major relationship killers:
CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR
Most people enter a relationship with a deep fear of rejection, and this fear motivates various forms of controlling behavior. Controlling behavior falls into two major categories : overt control and covert control.
Overt control includes many forms of attack, such as blaming anger, rage, violence, judgment, criticism and ridicule.
Covert control includes compliance, enabling, withdrawal, defending, explaining, lying and denying. Often a person at the other end of attack will respond with some form of covert control in an attempt to have control over not being attacked.
Controlling behavior always results in resentment and emotional distance, bringing about the very rejection that it is meant to avoid.
RESISTANCE
Many people enter a relationship with a deep fear of being engulfed and controlled – of losing themselves. The moment they experience their partner wanting control over them, they respond with resistance-withdrawal, unconsciousness, numbness, forgetfulness, and procrastination.
When one partner is controlling and the other is resistant – which is really an attempt to have control over not being controlled – the relationship becomes immobilized. Partners in this relationship system feel frustrated, stagnant, and resentful.
NEEDINESS
Many people enter a relationship believing that it is their partner’s job to fill their emptiness, take away their aloneness, and make them feel good about themselves. When people have not learned how to take responsibility for their own feelings and needs, and to define their own self-worth, they may pull on their partner and others to fill them with the love they need.
SUBSTANCE AND PROCESS ADDICTIONS
Most people who feel empty inside turn to substance and process addictions in an attempt to fill their emptiness and take away the pain of their aloneness and loneliness. Alcohol and drug abuse, food, spending, gambling, busyness, Internet sex and pornography, affairs, work, TV, accumulating things, beautifying, and so on, can all be used as ways to fill emptiness and avoid fears of failure, inadequacy, rejection and engulfment. And they are all ways of shutting out your partner.
EYES ON PARTNER’S PLATE
Many people are acutely aware of what their partner is doing that is causing relationship problems, but completely unaware of what they are doing. For example, you might be very aware of your partner’s resistance or withdrawal, but totally unaware of your own judgmental behavior.
You might be very aware of your partner’s anger, but completely unaware of your own compliance. You might be very aware of your partner’s addictive behavior, but very unaware of your own enabling. As long as your eyes are on your partner instead of on yourself, you will continue to believe that if only your partner changed, everything would be okay.
RESOLVING RELATIONSHIP KILLERS
All relationship killers come from fear: of inadequacy, of failure, of rejection and of engulfment. As long as you are coming from any of these fears, you will be behaving in one or more of the above ways.
The way out is to develop a loving adult self who knows how to take full responsibility for your own feelings and needs. You will move beyond controlling, needy and addictive behavior only when you learn how to fill your self with love and define your own inner worth. When you are willing to take your eyes off your partner’s plate and turn your eyes fully on yourself, you can begin to do the inner healing work necessary to heal yourself and your relationship.
A good place to start is to download our free Inner Bonding course and begin to practice the Six Steps of Inner Bonding. The daily practice of these steps will move you out of your addictive and controlling behavior and into the personal responsibility necessary to heal your relationship.
UK Dating Statistics Reveals Positive Results for the Dating Industry
Posted on December 21, 2009
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You would be surprised to know that the present society is witnessing more numbers of divorces than marriages. Here follows the top ten results of divorce percentages by country:
1. Belarus – 68%
2. Russian Federation – 65%
3. Sweden – 64%
4. Latvia – 63%
5. Ukraine – 63%
6. Czech Republic – 61%
7. Belgium – 56%
8. Finland – 56%
9. Lithuania – 55%
10. United Kingdom – 53%
The above numbers suggest that people are not maintaining long lasting relationships. Statistics like these and the increased rate of divorce fuels the growing popularity of UK dating web sites; many adults, especially those recently divorced or out of a serious long-term relationship, are no longer familiar with how to meet people socially and turn to the internet as a convenient tool for re-emerging into the dating world. One of the leading UK dating web sites has conducted a survey of their member profiles. The results are very interesting:
- 53% have dated more than one person at the same time.
- 71% believe in love at first sight.
- 30% consider personality in choosing a mate; 14% consider sense of humor and 11% go by looks.
- 29% say unfaithfulness is the primary reason behind relationship break ups.
- 78% believe that his/her companion is not 100% honest with them.
- 25% believe that a casual dating partnership becomes a serious relationship when one says “I Love You.”
- 67% don’t trust their partners on the first date.
- 44% believe a 5 year gap should be maintained while choosing a mate.
- 69% are utilizing online dating web sites to find dates.
- Despite such a high divorce average in the UK, 44% of respondents want to marry again.
- 22% believe the work or office provides a great source for dates.
This is the dating scenario in the UK. The most encouraging fact for the UK dating web sites is that more than half of the singles are finding their partners online. Kisscafé (www.KissCafe.eu) has been providing dating services in the UK free of cost.
About Kisscafé
Kisscafé (www.KissaCafe.com) is one of the fastest growing social networking and dating websites in the World Wide Web. The best aspect of this dating service provider is that all the exclusive service features (which other popular networking sites provide as subscribed services) absolutely FREE. Currently Kisscafé (www.KissCafe.com) has 22 international websites and plans to launch even more sites in additional countries.
Efficient Instant Messenger, multilingual capabilities and advanced profile search technology has made Kisscafé one of the leading online dating service providers on the Web. Kisscafé (www.KissCafe.com) member blogs are a great source of interesting posts related to the dating industry, including dating advice, personal stories and much more. For more details, you can log in to their site and compare their services with other dating sites.
Tools For Picking-Up Girls
Posted on December 18, 2009
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We all know that approaching woman isn’t easy. It can be embarrassing and downright difficult. But, if you know what you are doing and have faith in your own forces you can get the one you like.
Impressing a woman is not an easy task, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with females. There are many components that go into impressing a woman.
If you want to learn how to impress a girl, then you should do your best to be positive. Keep in mind that smiles and jokes are great bonding mechanisms that you can use to impress a girl.
There is a charm and seductive attraction that some guys have, so they have all the girls they want. This magnet is called charisma, and it is very important if you want to attract the woman of your life. But, if this is a problem for you, you must try some tricks to pick-up the woman you want.
For example, use your dog to pick-up girls. You have a dog? Now its your chance. Take a walk with your dog on the place where you know your special one passes by every day. Any girl likes dogs. Small ones are very cute and the big ones make you look hot.
So, if you are with your dog out and suddenly your girl pass over. Make sure that she sees you. If it happens that your dog had a bad behavior and starts barking at her you might apologize and tell her to not take it personally. So, you can discus with her. Show her that your dog know some tricks and while your dog is sitting and rolling over you’ re getting to know the girl.
Babies. Every woman love babies. Your friend is married and has a baby? Join your friend when he goes out with the baby and show interest by playing with the kid when she passes by you. Next day you can offer to watch out the baby for your friend and take him to a walk to show her you like kids. But make sure she has saw you in the day before with your friend to not think that the baby is yours. If the baby is crying when she passes by you, you might be lucky and she might offer her help to make the baby stop crying. So, you get to talk with her and may ask her for a date.
Use some magic tricks to attract her. You are seeing her every day and you don’t have the courage to talk to her. First of all, relax. One of the biggest turnoffs for women is a guy who’s uptight. Just relax and you’ll be fine. After you start talking with her use some magic tricks to impress her and attract her. You may say that you are good at magick and you are offering to guess
her future by reading her hand. She’ll definitely laugh but if she’s ok with this you may tell her that she will have a glorious future.
Don’t forget to make her laugh. Laughter is all you need to attract women easily and quickly. If you are able to make her laugh any time and any places it will be easier to you to get the woman you are looking after for some long time.
5 Important Details Developing Rapport
Posted on December 15, 2009
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Let us take a peak at the basics of developing rapport with others.
In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask questions, have a positive, open attitude, encourage an open exchange of communications (both verbal and unspoken), listen to verbal and unspoken communications and share positive feedback.
Here are important details on each step:
1. Ask Questions
Building report is similar to interviewing someone for a job opening or it can be like a reporter seeking information for an article.
Relax and get to know the other person with a goal of finding common ground or things of interest. You can begin by simply commenting on the other persons choice of attire, if in person, or about their computer, if online, and following up with related questions.
For example, in person, you could compliment the other person on their color choice and or maybe a pin, ring or other piece of jewelry and ask where it came from.
In online communications, you could compliment the other persons font, smile faces or whatever they use, mention that the communication style seems relaxed and ask if he or she writes a lot.
Then basically follow up, steering clear of topics that could entice or cause arguing, while gradually leading the person to common ground youd like to discuss.
2. Attitude
Have a positive attitude and leave social labels at home (or in a drawer, if youre at home). Many people can tell instantly if you have a negative attitude or if you feel superior. So treat other people as you would like to be treated. And give each person a chance.
3. Open Exchange
Do encourage others to share with you. Some people are shy, scared or inexperienced in communicating and welcome an opportunity to share. So both with body language and verbal communication invite an exchange. Face the other person with your arms open, eyes looking into theirs gently (not glaring or staring), and encourage a conversation with a warm smile.
4. Listen
Be an active listener. Dont focus your thoughts on what YOU will say next. Listen to what the other person is saying and take your clues from there, while also noting the body language.
For example, if the other person folds his arms and sounds upset, you may need to change the subject or let him have some space and distance; maybe even try approaching him later on and excusing yourself to go make a phone call (of head to the buffet table or somewhere to escape).
On the other hand, if the other person is leaning towards you, following your every word and communicating with your as if you were old friends, BINGO. Youve built rapport!
5. Share People like compliments
So hand them out freely without over doing it. Leaving a nice part of yourself like a compliment is a good memory for the other person to recall – numerous times. Thats good rapport. But do be sincere! False compliments arent easily disguised.
8 Rules for a Successful Date
Posted on November 3, 2009
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Dating is a necessary part of finding the perfect match for you. Its a selection process, that needs to be followed with some type of an idea of
how to handle yourself.
The easiest way to meet women is to be approachable and make new friends. This way you will meet more people and some of them might have female friends they will set you up with. You will be exposed to new places and activities, which might lead to meeting women.
There are guys that know how to date, guys that haven’t dated in years, or others that has never been successful with women. Whatever the case,
they all should follow some common rules for to have a successful date.
Finally you have a date with the beautiful girl you look after for some good time and she never seen you before. But, the miracle happened and
you have the chance to meet her and impress her at a date. So, to not fail in you date watch out these important dating rules.
1. Try to look your best and be punctual on dates.
Get your hygiene and stiling sorted out. Most women prefer smartly dressed guys. Not over the top, at the height of fashion, but cleanly turned out in suitable clothes. So your appearance can be vital.
Never be late for a date unless you have a very good reason. Women don’t like to be kept waiting even less for a man .
2. Sort out your job if is one you are proud of and get your knowledge levels up.
Most women love a guy to show that he can be in charge. So you should have every little detail taken care of and organized. It shows that you are capable, and attentive, qualities much sought after in a potential mate.
3. Pay attention to her.
Be interested , stop talking and start listening. You are on a date with her to get to know each other, use that time effectively, to find out as much about each other as possible. Give her your undivided attention.
Ask about her, show interest in her. Everyone loves to talk about themselves, her included. Allow her to talk, and then listen. This is one
of the greatest compliments you can give another person. Also you should watch the details, nothing shows better that you are a sensitive,
caring man that try all to make her feel comfortable on date.
4. Flatter and compliment your date on the way she look and how she is dressed.
She made a lot of effort for to look wonderful on your date. So, it’s good for her to hear that she looks good and is beautiful.
5. Have fun when dating to create a happy atmosphere so your partner to not get bored.
It is very important that she feel good so maybe you will get a second date.
6. Don’t be rude or get drunk on a date.
Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.
7. Never date a married person because she would not leave her husband for you and you will be for her just a shoulder to cry on.
This types of date are based only on lies.
8. Be confident. Confidence can open many doors for you.
When you are confident she will have more trust in you and your abilities. The most importing thing at all on date is to be your self. Thats because after the date there will be ordinary days to come and it have never paid to play someone youre not on the date. The best thing to do is to show the other person right from the beginning what kind of man you are or it will never work.
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